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March 30, 2004

 

Online-Dating Tips

More people are using computers to find that special someone. Here are some tips to help make your online-dating experience safe and fun:

  • Under no circumstance should you give someone you meet online a lot of personal information. You could place yourself in the dangerous position of having a date who knows what a loser you are.

  • When considering the serious step of marriage, it's good form to seek the approval of the message-board moderator.

  • Online dating services provide an easy way for recently divorced singles to meet new and interesting people. It's too bad your ex-wife got to keep the computer.

  • When you write your online classified ad, be sure to make explicit the fact that a sense of humor is very important to you.

  • Set yourself apart by choosing a descriptive user-name like SocialRetard342 or CuteFaceFatAss.

  • If you're having a hard time finding a decent, commitment-minded man through e-dating, why don't you try to e-shut the fuck up for once and stop your e-bitching.

  • Don't just tell women what they want to hear. Type it in all caps.

  • Remember, online dating is not for everyone - only the desperate and pathetic.

  • Dates like to know that they're appreciated. Go the extra mile and send that special someone an e-card or virtual flowers.

  • For best results, try whichever dating service happens to be advertised to the right or left of this chart.

  • If you decide to break up with your online mate, for God's sake, have the decency to do it over the phone.

  • If you're a man who prefers younger women, but you only seem to get responses from older women, take heart: Older women can give birth to younger women.

  • When getting together for the first time, arrange to meet online dates in an open, public place. That way, you can use binoculars to check them out

  • Don't worry. If you actually meet someone decent over the Internet, the two of you can tell people you met at a party.




 
 
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