mordant wit

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Policeman to blonde driver he has just flagged down:

"I've stopped you, Miss, because your silencer has gone."

Blonde: "How can you tell it's gone?"

Officer: "I can hear it, Miss."

Blonde, after some thought: "How can you hear it if it has gone?"

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be
anyone you want".

The first nun says "I want to be Sophia Loren" and POOF she's gone.

The second says "I want to be Madonna" and POOF she's gone.

The third says "I want to be Sara Pipalini".

St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.

St Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men'!"

5 GHz Project

With just weeks to go to Christmas, the THG crew got together to offer our loyal readers and especially the hardcore geeks among us something really special. Our brainstorming session quickly lead to extreme overclocking. And so we began our highly complex project that required a whole lot of coordination and planning. The working title of our endeavor: The 5 GHz Project.



something my friend Mujahid will love to see

Do you know the secret for Miller Lite to be drinkable? This ad.

the cleaning lady and the guy who's working late... ;-)

Ever wanted to sneak into a dorm to see what really goes on in there?

We all travel through life trying to discover who we really are. And through this process, we come across choices that help us explore the possibilities.



Well, until now I can say my art is a big part of who I am. I have not yet discovered my complete and true self, or my purpose on this earth. But I can say that my photography will play a significant role on the molding of my time. My site, neshaat.com, is a way for me to share myself and my outlook on life with the rest of the world.

When trying to remove a mouse out of your house, remember to get your wife out first!

It's free! Just give a call and get a breast exam.

Jonie is a good girl. She never comes home late, she get perfect grades in school, she never stole anything or swears at her parents. But sometimes when she drinks beer she turns into something else.

presidential nip slip (almost): Lauren Bush

would you ever want to try something like this?

watch this guy spin his guitar

Basketball can be dangerous

Beckham's favorite read

We're not showing off babes, we're exposing your girl friend

Want to compare:

Vida Guerra vs Jennifer Lopez

can't say about the shot, but nice aim

VW Beetle

are some people really this dumb?

would you like to attempt to break it???

try and find out where that guy disappeared

cleaning up ... there's more dust there baby!!!

Yesterday I realised how true it was what I had just put in words

"Only a fool puts a pricetag on happiness"

Happiness really does not have a pricetag. It's the only thing that is free in life. Everything else has a catch. Happiness does not. It is such a simple and pure emotion. And so many people fail to understand it. Building walls around themselves, setting preconditions to happiness that they may never achieve it.


thanx Asiya, for bringing that out from within.

Midnight, our sons and daughters
Were cut down and taken from us
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

Night hangs like a prisoner
Stretched over black and blue
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat

In the trees our sons stand naked
Through the walls our daughters cry
See their tears in the rainfall

A husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her
e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2002

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your
arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

X

All alone, staring on
Watching her life go by
When her days are grey
And her nights are black
Different shades of mundane
And the one eyed furry toy
That lies upon the bed
Has often heard her cry
And heard her whisper out a name
Long forgiven, but not forgotten

You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're not forgotten

A bleeding heart torn apart
Left on an icy grave
In the room where they once lay
Face to face
Nothing could get in their way
But now the memories of the man are haunting her days
And the craving never fades
She's still dreaming of a man
Long forgiven, but not forgotten

You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're not forgotten

Still alone, staring on
Wishing her life goodbye
As she goes searching for the man
Long forgiven, but not forgotten

You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're forgiven not forgotten
You're not forgotten
You're not forgotten
No, You're not forgotten

arabic drivers in action

wimbledon is fake

vin diesel break dancin: 1 & 2

u cud do tht with a home theatre as well

How can you tell at an early age if your kid is gay?

this guys goin thru one hell of a cultural shock!!! or is that his girlfriend?!

what would you call this elephant?

miss canada... but check this one out

Weird Spot

Can you hide behind a trash can?

You don't know Dick!

How To Annoy People In An Elevator

trust me... u don wanna be caught driving this

i wanna buy Lenny's apartment

Spit with Totti

I guess you can call this bad judgement

Did you know...it was all going to go so wrong for you
And did you see it was all going to be so right for me
Why did we tell you then
You were always the golden boy then
And that you'd never lose that light in your eyes

Hey you...did you realize what you'd become
And did you see that it wasn't only me you were running from
Did you know all the time but it never bothered you anyway
Leading the blind while I stared out the steel in your eyes

The rain fell slow, down on all the roofs of uncertainty
I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me
And did you know...
I never thought that you'd lose the light in your eyes

Been dazed and confused for so long it’s not true,
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Lots of people talk and few of them know,
Soul of a woman was created below. Yeah!

You hurt and abused tellin’ all of your lies,
Run around sweet baby, lord how they hypnotize.
Sweet little baby, I don’t know where you’ve been,
Gonna love you baby, here I come again.

Every day I work so hard, bringin’ home my hard earned pay
Try to love you baby, but you push me away.
Don’t know where you’re goin’, only know just where you’ve been,
Sweet little baby, I want you again.

Been dazed and confused for so long, it’s not true,
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Take it easy baby, let them say what they will.
Will your tongue wag so much when I send you the bill?

its a newly developed cd burning tool that processes multiple cds simultaneously in a record period of time




thanx Ahsan

Oil wars and no it does not involve Saddam or Bush

Google War

britney nip slip

rate nudes on college sucks!

Helium Boob

Women across the world have desired a larger bosom and until now, there have been no truly safe methods to achieve this. Now, with the Helium Boob, we have given choice to the average consumer by offering a breast enlargement product where size is completely adjustable any any moment!

And as a funny side effect: if you suck on it, you can talk like a cartoon character.

If you are from Brasil or are Brasilouco you have probably heard of Naara Carolyne and Lorraine Lima. Now that they did a Playboy photoshoot, the rest of the world will probably get familiar with them as well.

All set, court's in session
This judge's got no compassion
Witness, show me your right hand
I swear, nothing but the truth now
I was allright till she came along
I was allright, then it all went wrong
The devil made me do it

Q: Who is a gynaecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.


thanx Umeed

how to protect your car?

Jurannessic, they found it. It's the world's first porn movie.

So I'm at the track last Sunday at the JBA late model shootout. This guy is behind me in the staging lanes and walks around my car with the typical arrogant Corvette owner swagger and asks "Whose Mustang?"
I say it's mine and he asks if I have nitrous on it. I say yep and he says..."Good, at least you'll make a fight of it."

Love is all about sharing everything with your loved one.

suggestion: keep a vomit bag handy

Strip Dir v2.1

This is a truly amazing utility

go ahead. take your best shot.

Sisuepahn is unliftable

 

They were pulled out of their classroom to pose for a picture of their entire class. I only wonder what kind of lessons they were being taught at the time.

enthusiastic blonde dancer

Better keep an eye on that milkman

Stress Causes Memory Failure

People are woefully bad at recalling details of their own traumatic experiences. When military personnel were subjected to threatening behaviour during mock interrogations, most failed to identify the questioner a day or so later, and many even got the gender wrong.

The finding casts serious doubt on the reliability of victim testimonies in cases involving psychological trauma.

Numerous studies have questioned the accuracy of recall of traumatic events, but the research is often dismissed as artificial and not intense enough to simulate real-life trauma. Other studies have suggested that intense, personal experiences might produce near photographic recollection, something that prosecutors and juries in legal cases often assume.

But some researchers think this is an illusion. "People come away from these experiences feeling they will never forget what happened," says Gary Wells, an expert on eyewitness testimony at Iowa State University in Ames, "but they confuse that with thinking they remember the details."

1 out of 6 ain't bad

After a good fight there's just one thing that is right and that is kiss and make up.

All this time we've been padding our bras, lowering our necklines and relying on expensive silicone when come to find out, men aren't necessarily checking out our chests. In a recent Match.com poll, men were asked to choose between lips or hips. It went something like this:

Guys, which quality of a woman attracts you most?
• Hot Lips
• Curvy Hips

And to confuse us even more, most guys chose the hot lips. The score was 58% for the lips and 42% for the hips. Does this mean guys would prefer a Julia over a J. Lo? A good kisser over a good dancer? Faith Hill's song "This Kiss" over Ricky Martin's "Shake your Bon Bon?" Rather than spending valuable lipstick shopping time guessing, we went straight to the source to get to the bottom of this age-old question:

Trent, 32, chose lips, explaining, "A girl with luscious lips is just so sexy. I can't take my eyes off her lips when she's talking."

So that explains why guys never hear anything we say.

Charlie, 28, prefers curvy hips. He confessed that "an hour-glass figure is just how it should be. When a girl has curvy hips, she just looks more like a real woman."

Score one for the hips. Beyonce is breathing a sigh of relief right now.

Another hip man, Doug, 34, pretty much went with the lesser of two evils: When asked which he preferred, Doug responded, "Lips? All girls' lips are the same, right? They're reddish or pink and they use them for eating, kissing and mostly talking. I guess I'll take hips, but I'm actually a chest man."

Ah-ha. Nice to hear a padded bra still counts for something.

We then encountered a few more lip lovers:

"I always notice a girl's lips first," says Brandon, 38, "If her lips are thin and she's always frowning, I won't even talk to her. But if her lips are full, you know, more like Michelle Pfeiffer's? Then I'm totally attracted to her."

Jason, 26, agrees, "I love a girl's smile and her lips play an important role in that. If she's got big old lips and a big old smile, I'm hers."

Craig, 34, likes lips for a different reason, "I'm all about kissing," he admits, "So a girl's gotta have hot lips."

So I guess this means we should really focus on our lipstick and the color we wear?

"Not at all," Mark, 39, says, "We couldn't care less what color your lipstick is. In fact, we'd prefer if you didn't even wear any. It tastes bad and it gets all over our lips. Why do girls put on so much of it anyway?"

Yikes. Guess that means lip liner is out of the question, too.

"Lip liner is just about the most pointless invention I've ever seen," remarks Mike, 28, "I'm not exactly sure what it's for but I think girls use it to draw a line around their lips. What for? I don't draw a line around my nose."

While the men's advice proved helpful and entertaining, I wouldn't throw away your expensive tube of "red hot nights" just yet. You don't want to have ghostly lips when he first notices your gorgeous smile. And ladies, if you weren't blessed with Michelle Pfeiffer's lips, don't worry. You'll notice that curvy hips pulled in a nice percentage of the votes as well. So you can go ahead and shake your bon bon.


thanx to Ahsan

And you thought there was nothing but war in the Balkan countries? Think again!

F*cking villagers vote against name change

Residents of an Austrian village called F*cking, have voted against changing the name.

The 150 or so people who live in the village debated the issue after roadsigns kept being stolen - many by British tourists.

Spokesman Siegfried Hoeppl, said: "Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us F*cking is F*cking - and it's going to stay F*cking - even though the signs keep getting stolen."

He said the name came from Mr F*ck and his family who settled in the area 100 years ago, and added "ing", meaning village or settlement.

The villagers didn't find out about the English meaning of the word until Allied soldiers stationed in the region in 1945 pointed out the alternative meaning.

Local newspaper editor Menhardt Buzasa said there had been an increase in the number of signs being stolen, and said British tourists were usually blamed.

"I do not agree it is just the British. F*cking is universal. Germans use it as much now as the British, and it also means the same to the Americans, Australians and anyone in the English speaking world," he said.

Similar votes on a name change have taken place recently in neighbouring Austrian towns Wank am see and Petting, as well as in Vomitville and Windpassing.

How to say I am a lesbian?

that oughta speed things up

that's my kinda devil :P

first game... i wish mine was like that :P

now i wouldn't want an alarm clock like that!!

open dir: public peek 1 & 2

open dir: gh

this man has balls. n he can control 'em too.

Lapdance Island. The fictional show that 20,000 hopeful males applied online for.

E4 pretended to be looking for 10 hot blooded male contestants to battle it out as 40 professional lap dancers did everything in their power to make it hard for them.

What's the weather like where you live?

dubya's musical misadventure

kung fu fighting ... l0lz

A nice salad should contain, of course, lettuce, cheese, eggs and tomatoes. But they have to be fresh picked tomatoes.

50 Fun ways to fail an exam

Tyler Faith Banned From High School Prom..

check out why

This professor better change her name

Nokia launches phonecam with fashionsoftporn from photog Rankin

Handset maker Nokia promoted the release of a new phonecam/PDA with help from renowned British fashion photographer Rankin, and a bunch of hot nekkid fairy chicks.

Rankin was given an advance trial of Nokia's latest and highest-resolution cameraphone, the 7610. With it, he crafted six huge A2 sized photographs and 60 other shots, inspired by the legendary Cottingley fairy photographs. By running the images through software filters, the former co-founder of the legendary Dazed & Confused magazine managed to conjure up incredibly sharp images of beautiful women posed as woodland fairies. All this from a one-megapixel cameraphone with 4 x digital zoom, and a very sharp colour display.

Barcode Art

Did you know that approximately one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple?
The Third Nipple

The wives of the Russian football players who participate in Euro 2004 think they are the best looking wives in Portugal. And to prove that they decided to drop off their clothes and pose naked holding nothing but a picture of their husbands to cover up their private parts. Do you agree that they are the best looking football wives?

Newspaper rescues naked woman

A woman, whose clothes were stolen while she was having sex in a park, had to walk through downtown Aberdeen, Scotland, covered in only a newspaper.

The Daily Record reported Wednesday that once the woman reached her apartment she had to call police to gain entry, because her roommate was out. However, her roommate is also her boyfriend and once he returned, the 23-year-old woman had to explain how she lost her clothes and the key that was in her jacket pocket.

A source told the Record the couple had a fight earlier in the evening and the woman had gone to a club where she met the man she had been with in the park.

rebecca loos(e) dancing with dutch singer gerard joling...

was someone suckin on 'em before she showed up here?!

download complete Shrek I in DivX format

Filesize: 735,295,488 bytes

don't be too engrossed in your newspaper and do observe what's around. you might miss something... or... you may not!

following the famous paris hilton upskirt here is the paris hilton upskirt II with a string that does not do what its supposed to..

britney becomin more and more like christina (you won't hear us complain)

something you may not want to see: the anal floss

some nice holiday pics

christina aguilera confirms she's got her titties pierced :P

i hope n pray that my girl friend is not a fan of elektronik supersonik

better be aware of what you show and who you show it to on the internet, or you could be like this chick

Hegre Archives

PopupTest.com provides a simple and independent source for popup window testing. Whether you are developing a popup killer software or you are thinking about purchasing one, you can use our sample popups to test the effectiveness of the application.

99 Rooms

next time your dealing with a boa constrictor... atleast know what you are doing

if you're thinking about buying a sex-doll, here's a nice comparison of two topmodels

Shake, shake, shake ... shake your booty

It isn't quite close to what i really am like... but just to show what you can do with this link

When the sun is shining you have to get yourself to the beach

This is a joy for your eyes: 1431 girls in 1 picture.

gorgeous buxom blonde singer moves almost too enthusiastically

Dubya's PC

Miss Crazy Huge

i'm surprised how she keeps herself from tipping over

You want photography? I'll give you photography and I just know you want to see all the photos.

How to fry an egg on an XP !!

Russian oil giant can sell cannabis vodka

Russian oil company Yukos has won a rare legal victory when a court ruled it could sell cannabis vodka.

The court in Voronezh dismissed a case claiming Yukos, and its billionaire owners, were promoting drug use by selling the vodka at petrol stations.

The company's owners are currently battling tax evasion and fraud charges.

Drug squad officers had confiscated a bottle of the vodka, which is made from hemp seed extract, in April.

But the court said the label on the bottle promoted vodka sales and not drug use.

It reads: "Cannabis vodka - an alcoholic drink prepared from hemp seed extract. Try this wonderful drink, but don't forget its extraordinary powers."

Homer Simpson's emphatic exclamation "Doh!" has topped a British poll of favorite TV comedy catchphrases, easily beating an array of home-grown classics.
The bumbling hero of American animated TV series "The Simpsons" -- who often accompanies his trademark saying with a slap to the forehead -- topped Nuts Magazine's poll with 34 percent of the vote.

"Doh" has even found a home in the Oxford English Dictionary, which defines it as:

"Expressing frustration at the realization that things have turned out badly or not as planned or that one has just said or done something foolish. Also implying that another person has said or done something foolish."

The rest of the poll's top 10, published Wednesday, all come from British television hits.

At number two was "Don't Panic!" from 1970s war comedy "Dad's Army," one of Britain's best-loved programs about a group of aging Home Guard soldiers ill-prepared for a feared German attack.

Error Reports Overwhelm Microsoft Worker

Most people complain about getting too much e-mail, but they have nothing on Wendy Cudahy of Microsoft, who receives around 2.4 million e-mail messages each day.

"You know when Windows XP has a problem and it asks if you want to send an error report? Well, if you click the 'send report' button that message comes to me," said Wendy who has been the Error Report Wrangler at the software giant for the past two weeks.

"After six days, I had about 14 million unread messages in my inbox and I knew I probably couldn't catch up, so I set up some filters. That was only a finger in the dam. Now, I am deleting all the messages until I've sorted through these old ones," said Cudahy.

christina aguilera has a nipple piercing ;)

alicia keys in a see thru top

open dir alert

Entensity.net - Finally a site Safe for Work.. Well, kind of.

treadmills can be dangerous