mordant wit

100 (Plus) Years of Regime Change

George Bush and Dick Cheney may get your vote as the worst, the dumbest, the most venal, and the most dangerous bunglers in foreign affairs in U.S. history. But this book will show you that their equals have appeared before.

Overthrow is an infuriating recitation of our government’s military bullying over the past 110 years—a century of interventions around the world that resulted in the overthrow of 14 governments—in Hawaii, Cuba, the Philippines, Puerto Rico, Vietnam, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, Panama, Chile, Iran, Grenada, Afghanistan, and … Iraq.

Four United Nations observers have been killed in an Israeli air strike on an observation post in south Lebanon.

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said he was "shocked" at the "apparently deliberate targeting" of the post. Israel has expressed "deep regret".


BBC Story
Reuters Story

A grant of Rs 100 million, allegedly being spent on the purchase of 43 vehicles, including Prado jeeps, 2800cc double-cabins, from the Canadian government’s funds given for improving the quality of primary and middle school education in Sindh, has triggered a protest from the Planning Division.

An amount of Rs 55 million is also being allegedly allocated for petrol of these 43 vehicles. Keeping in view the poor condition of education in Sindh, the Canadian government had converted its loan into a grant to help the provincial government improve the quality of academic institutions.

The Planning Division, in its comments to be submitted to the CDWP, has questioned the spending of grant money meant for a literacy project allegedly on purchase of 43 cars. The project document submitted to the CDWP says that when this project reached the Planning Division for review, it was revealed that the Sindh government was buying 43 vehicles from the Canadian government’s grant for improving education in the province.

In its comments on the project, the Planning Division said the Sindh government was already undertaking several projects to improve education in the province. It said the provincial government should avoid duplication of activities in the field of teachers’ training and capacity-building.

Evaluating the project, the Planning Division officials said the entire project is silent over who would meet the office and maintenance (O&M) cost once the project was completed. They said the sponsors should provide the O&M cost requirements. They said the project also seeks foreign and local consultancy, but the proposal does not contain the terms of reference of consultants.

Likewise, the Planning Division said repair and renovation of existing institutions will be carried out and for it an amount of Rs225 million would be used. The proposal does not contain details of civil work.

On the issue of vehicle purchase plan, the Planning Division said 25 Toyota Hiace vans are proposed to be used for follow-up purposes and 14 Toyota double-cabin vehicles are proposed to be used by the project director office to look after the field work, monitoring of activities and for evaluation. It has also been proposed to purchase two Prado jeeps and two Cultus Suzuki cars.



Complete article here.

This spring, an industrial designer named Jaren Goh unveiled a concept design for a truly bleeding-edge, luxury smartphone. Because this device would so expensive, no one really expected him to find any customers. Surprisingly, though, a European company has put in an order for five of them.

These will go on sale early next year for $300,000 U.S.

The Black Diamond, as it is called, will include features found in no off-the-shelf model, like a mirror-finished polycarbonate casing studded with diamonds. It will also sport a 4-megapixel camera and an ultra-sleek design.

Still, on the inside it will be a fairly standard Pocket PC phone. It will run Windows Mobile 5.0 on a 400 MHz Intel XScale processor. This smartphone will include 128 MB of memory and an SD slot.

The Black Diamond will be a quad-band GSM/GPRS phone with built-in Wi-Fi (802.11 b/g).

The original concept called for an OLED screen, but the device that will actually ship will use a 2-inch LCD.

Jaren Goh's Black Diamond will be a limited edition smartphone offered by Voice Internet Phone Network (VIPN), a company that offers VoIP (Voice Over IP) service.

That why it will support this company's service for making phone calls over the Internet.

More information on the Black Diamond is available on the VIPN web site.

The one million citizens of Kuwait, where government financial assets have topped 166 billion dollars, are to receive a grant of 200 dinars (690 dollars) each, the government has announced.

"In accordance with directives by the emir, the cabinet decided to provide all Kuwaiti citizens with a grant of 200 dinars each," state minister for cabinet affairs Ismail al-Shatti said Sunday after the cabinet weekly meeting.

The two million foreign workers in the oil-rich emirate were not included.

The OPEC member posted a surplus in each of the past seven fiscal years, totalling more than 50 billion dollars. Kuwait is also headed for record revenues this year.

The government offered a similar grant in October 2004 and raised salaries of citizens by 170 dollars monthly last year. MPs in the outspoken parliament have been pressing for a new hike.

The Gulf Arab state provides a cradle-to-grave welfare system to its citizens who receive most public services at heavily subsidized prices and pay no income tax.

Some 92 percent of Kuwait's 300,000-strong workforce are employed in government jobs, with high wages and minimal work pressure.

Researchers at Akishima Laboratories (Mitsui Zosen), working in conjunction with professor Shigeru Naito of Osaka University, have developed a device that uses waves to draw text and pictures on the surface of water.

The device, called AMOEBA (Advanced Multiple Organized Experimental Basin), consists of 50 water wave generators encircling a cylindrical tank 1.6 meters in diameter and 30 cm deep (about the size of a backyard kiddie pool). The wave generators move up and down in controlled motions to simultaneously produce a number of cylindrical waves that act as pixels. The pixels, which measure 10 cm in diameter and 4 cm in height, are combined to form lines and shapes. AMOEBA is capable of spelling out the entire roman alphabet, as well as some simple kanji characters. Each letter or picture remains on the water surface only for a moment, but they can be produced in succession on the surface every 3 seconds.

By Ze'ev Maoz

There's practically a holy consensus right now that the war in the North is a just war and that morality is on our side. The bitter truth must be said: this holy consensus is based on short-range selective memory, an introverted worldview, and double standards.

This war is not a just war. Israel is using excessive force without distinguishing between civilian population and enemy, whose sole purpose is extortion. That is not to say that morality and justice are on Hezbollah's side. Most certainly not. But the fact that Hezbollah "started it" when it kidnapped soldiers from across an international border does not even begin to tilt the scales of justice toward our side.

Let's start with a few facts. We invaded a sovereign state, and occupied its capital in 1982. In the process of this occupation, we dropped several tons of bombs from the air, ground and sea, while wounding and killing thousands of civilians. Approximately 14,000 civilians were killed between June and September of 1982, according to a conservative estimate. The majority of these civilians had nothing to do with the PLO, which provided the official pretext for the war.



The writer is a professor of political science at Tel Aviv university.

Concept cars rarely go into production directly; most undergo at least some changes before the design is finalized for the sake of practicality, safety and cost. Concept cars are often radical in engine or design:

Some use non-traditional, exotic, or expensive materials, ranging from paper to carbon fiber to exotic alloys
Others have unique layouts, such as gullwing doors, 3 or 6 (or more) wheels, or special abilities not usually found on cars.

Here is a timeline of concept cars from 1938 - 1981. See anything you like? Or totally dislike?

This is an attempt to list which side of the road people drive on around the world, and to find some reasons why.

The most authoritative reference that I am aware of on this subject is a book called The Rule of the Road: An International Guide to History and Practice by Peter Kincaid (Greenwood Press, 1986; 239 pages; ISBN 0-313-25249-1). The book is out of print and difficult to obtain although you might be able to find it in libraries. The Rule of the Road contains a lot of details about why various countries use one side of the road or the other and how they have switched between them. I have relied on Kincaid's book for many of the historical questions in this document. The list of countries in this document is not taken from Kincaid, and it includes some additional territories as well as being more recently updated.

Strange statues from around the world

Sexiest woman in the Middle East

Monopoly board game players can now pay for properties with debit cards. Game makers Parker have phased out the standard multi-coloured cash in a new version. Players will instead use a Visa mock debit card to keep track of how much they win or lose. It is inserted into an electronic machine where the banker taps in cardholders' earnings and payments. Parker said replacing of cash with plastic showed the game was moving with the times. Spokesman Chris Weatherhead said: "The new electronic Monopoly reflects the changing nature of society and the advancement of technology."

It's about time they got rid of the cash system. Not only is it horribly annoying, but it's tough to use when you can't count. Or read. Or eat without spilling half the food on your lap.

When first introduced in the late 1800s, a synthetic fur coat was six times more expensive than a real fur coat.

High-speed video of Katana vs heavy machine gun - the sword survives 6 hits from a .50 BMG.

Sharing a bed with someone could temporarily reduce your brain power - at least if you are a man - Austrian scientists suggest.

When men spend the night with a bed mate their sleep is disturbed, whether they make love or not, and this impairs their mental ability the next day.

The lack of sleep also increases a man's stress hormone levels.

According to the New Scientist study, women who share a bed fare better because they sleep more deeply.

A British secretary allegedly sacked from her job in Paris over an internet diary is the latest in a growing line to pay a heavy price for blogging.

Catherine - who blogged anonymously under the pseudonym "La Petite Anglaise" about life, love and work - has now launched a test case under French employment law.

She claims she was dismissed from accounting firm Dixon Wilson for bringing the company into disrepute, despite never naming it in her diary. The firm has not commented.

Since Catherine - who told anecdotes about office life and admitted lying to take time off - announced the legal case on her blog site, more than 200 readers have posted messages of support.

Her story is far from unique in the blogosphere.

Einstein's affairs should surprise no one, says Desmond Morris. It is all in the genius's genes

So Albert Einstein did not, after all, spend all his waking hours chalking up complex symbols on a blackboard. According to letters newly released this week, he devoted quite a bit of it to chasing the ladies. And with considerable success.

To many, the idea of Einstein having 10 mistresses does not fit the classical image of the great, remote genius. Why was he wasting his valuable time with the exhausting business of conducting a string of illicit affairs - affairs that would cause havoc with his family life, damaging especially his relationship with his sons?

New Massacre in Lebanon by Israeli Terrorists

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Conclusion: TRANSACTION COMPLETED LOLZ...

Turret Fire

Toyota sees a future in plugging in vehicles - instead of simply pulling in for gas. Already a leader in the hybrid market with its Prius sedan, Toyota Motor Corp. plans to develop a hybrid vehicle that will run locally on batteries charged by a typical 120-volt outlet before switching over to a gasoline engine for longer hauls.

Enter a word, and Google Images will spell it. Pretty cool.

It's an emerging rule of thumb that suggests that if you get a group of 100 people online then one will create content, 10 will "interact" with it (commenting or offering improvements) and the other 89 will just view it.

Israel attacks airports, major highway after Hezbollah lobs rockets

Israeli warplanes early Friday bombed southern Beirut, home to the offices of Hezbollah and the group's leader, as the Israeli-Lebanese violence that has killed dozens of Lebanese civilians and 10 Israelis entered its third day.

Lebanese police said the planes hit the airport road, which crosses through the southern district considered a Hezbollah stronghold.

A Lebanese army official said bombs also hit two bridges in the southern suburbs of the capital and a stadium.



Thank God for Israeli retaliation, that they destroyed that stadium in the suburbs. I can not begin to imagine what sort of horrendous plan the Hezbollah would have hatched with that stadium!

Same headbutt, different views

10. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
09. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
08. Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
07. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
06. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
05. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
04. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!
03. Klingon software does NOT have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
02. You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
01. Our users will now fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

It becomes the fastest movie to enter the imdb worst 100 movies of all time.

A 21-year old San Jose resident buys an Oregon Police car and labels it "Psycho Patrol" before taking it on a concert road trip. He confuses drivers and other patrol cars nationwide. He seems to be having a great time. It's legal, but barely..

Weighing the Repugnance Factor

How's this for a repugnant situation? Take someone you love, perhaps your spouse or your sibling, and find a stranger who will accept a really big bet that your loved one will die prematurely — and if indeed that happens, you pocket a few million dollars.

This, of course, is how life insurance works. And most Americans don't find this idea repugnant at all. They used to, however. Until the mid-19th century, life insurance was considered "a profanation," as the sociologist Viviana Zelizer has written, "which transformed the sacred event of death into a vulgar commodity."

Despite the enormous changes which have taken place since electronic computing was invented in the 1950s, some things remain stubbornly the same. In particular, most people can ’t learn to program: between 30% and 60% of every university computer science department’s intake fail the first programming course.

Jessica Wilcox was born into a humble family on New Year’s Eve of 1925. Her father left them when she was three; her mother was critical and cold to her. The young girl was often left alone for hours in a dark room, and hence, as children are wont to do, she created an imaginary friends with whom to pass the time. With these imaginary friends, Jessica forged strong friendships, chief among them was one named Arlene, who hung around for many years and grew up with Jessica despite being an almost polar opposite of her: Jessica was open and articulate, Arlene was cynical and contemptuous like her mother. Other imaginary friends faded, but Jessica never grew out of Arlene–rather Arlene grew into Jessica, and became a separate personality.

Jessica was 16 when she entered the Miss Atlantic City contest, which led to a job at the Miss America Contest, which in turn was her platform to fame and a new name: Candy Jones.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair and U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan called Monday for the deployment of international forces to stop Hezbollah from bombing Israel.

President Bush, not realizing his remarks were being picked up by a microphone at a summit of world leaders, bluntly expressed his frustration with Hezbollah's actions.

``See, the irony is what they really need to do is to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this (expletive),'' Bush told Blair in a discussion before the Group of Eight leaders began their lunch.

Bush's remarks were picked up by the summit's closed-circuit television, which was filming the leaders sitting down to eat. Normally, the images are transmitted with sound that does not allow reporters to pick out individual comments.sound. But in this case a microphone picked up Bush's comments to Blair.

Blair, whose remarks were not as clearly heard, appeared to be pressing Bush about the importance of getting international peacekeepers into the region.

The tape shows Bush buttering a roll while Blair stands behind him pressing his point on the Middle East. At another point in the tape, Bush jokes with Russian President Vladimir Putin about the size of Russia and how long it will take leaders to fly home. Putin made a reply that could not be heard.

Bush, a stickler for keeping to his schedule, also thanked another leader for a gift of sweaters and said, ``We have to keep this thing moving. I have to leave at 2:15.''

Short wave radio enthusiasts worldwide have heard of the strange and elusive Numbers Channels. It is a name that refers to any one of several of unusual broadcasts that usually start at a very specific time, though often from different locations. The broadcasts contain some odd elements like excerpts of music, a regular attention message, and a sting of phonetic letters or numbers—for which they are named. For the most part, the signals make no sense—at least not to most people—the messages are fairly random, and there is not enough information in the broadcast itself to allow one to decipher it.

Such transmissions are fairly common. They are most often reported in Europe, but can be found anywhere. Each adheres to a strict schedule, and often begin at either the hour or half-after. Most of the time the voice reading these letters is female, though sometimes male or a child’s. Despite being without any obvious function, they seem pretty harmless. So why does no licensed radio station admit to sending them, no government will admit to sanctioning them, and no one will confess to being responsible for them?

The Olmert government, Hizbullah and Hamas are tacitly united in rejection of any moves towards a compromise peace.

Whatever else can be said for or against Israel's escalation of military action against Lebanon, there is little prospect that it will achieve its stated objectives. If Israel couldn't defeat Hizbullah after 18 years in which its army occupied large swaths of Lebanese territory, it is not going to succeed with air strikes and blockades, or even another occupation. The same point applies even more forcefully in the case of Gaza. Every time Israel applies the iron fist in an effort to beat the Palestinians into submission, their resistance simply re-emerges in a more extreme and rejectionist form. Far from fearing Israel's wrath, Hizbullah and Hamas must be rather pleased at their success in provoking it into the sort of over-reaction from which they have always benefited.

Nor does it seem plausible that military action will enable Israel to secure the release of its captured soldiers. The civilian victims of Israel's indiscriminate retaliation have no real influence over the militias that hold them, while the militias themselves are untroubled by the spectacle of public suffering. On the contrary, they thrive on it. In the case of Lebanon, it is possible that acts of collective punishment, such as the destruction of Beirut airport and yesterday's killing of yet more civilians, might divide Hizbullah and its supporters from the rest of the country, but only at the risk of triggering another civil war and creating a vacuum that Israel's enemies in Syria and Iran will find easier to exploit.

Music is essentially useless, as life is.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Caught on Video: Two Northwest Airlines Planes Collide on Runway

This myth may really rattle your brain. Lots of well-meaning people believe foreign aid will cure poverty.

U2's lead singer, Bono, stops almost every concert to tell his fans that Western governments can end poverty.

"We have the resources, we have the know-how to end extreme poverty," he said last year in Chicago.

Angelina Jolie visited a model village in Africa to promote what she believes would be possible if our governments would just give more. The village she visited is the creation of Jeffrey Sachs, director of the U.N. Millennium Project and author of the best-selling "The End of Poverty." He's also America's most vocal promoter of giving more foreign aid to Africa.

"How can we go another day when 20,000 children are going to be dying of these stupid reasons that are utterly preventable?" he asked.

Sachs helped persuade Western governments to double foreign aid to Africa to $50 billion. And the people in his model village were thrilled about getting all this help from Sachs and Jolie.

But journalist June Arunga doesn't think this will really help in the long run.

Dividing by 10 with multiply and shift (n*6554>>16)? Sorry, it's patented!

Mikhail Gorbachev is generally regarded as the man who broke down the "iron curtain" that separated the communist world from the West and thawed the Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union.

Now, 15 years after a coup removed him from power and the Soviet Union dissolved, he has some stern words for the United States, whose relationship with Russia has soured lately.

"We have made some mistakes," he said, referring to recent attacks on Russia's democracy. "So what? Please don't put even more obstacles in our way. Do you really think you are smarter than we are?"

The former general secretary of the Soviet Union Communist Party accused Americans of arrogance and trying to impose their way of life on other nations.

"Americans have a severe disease — worse than AIDS. It's called the winner's complex," he said. "You want an American style-democracy here. That will not work."

A body found in north-east London has been identified as that of a banker who was questioned by the FBI about the Enron fraud case.

Police said they were treating the death in Chingford of Neil Coulbeck, who worked for the Royal Bank of Scotland until 2004, as "unexplained".

He had been interviewed by the FBI as a potential witness.

Three ex-workers of RBS subsidiary NatWest are being extradited to the US on Thursday to face fraud charges.

The extradition has sparked a political row, with opposition parties and human rights groups claiming the treaty under which they are being sent to the US is one-sided as the Americans are yet to ratify it.

A report showing outsize portfolio gains for US senators is raising new questions about ethics and conflicts of interest for Capitol Hill power brokers.

The study found that during the boom years of 1993-98, a majority of US Senators were trading stocks - and beating the market by 12 percentage points a year on average. By comparison, corporate insiders beat the market by 5 percent, and typical households underperformed by 1.4 percent.

Financial experts interviewed for this story say the senators' collective achievement is a statistical stunner, too big to be a mere coincidence.

That doesn't mean lawmakers were consciously capitalizing on inside information, or that Martha Stewart-style prosecutions are around the corner. But the study is putting lawmaker finances in focus during an election year. And it is revealing a broader concern: Barricades against financial self-dealing in Congress are surprisingly thin.

Israel has attacked Beirut airport and launched raids across southern Lebanon killing 27 people, in a major offensive after two of its soldiers were seized.

Israeli strikes also hit a TV station run by the militant group Hezbollah, which captured the soldiers on Tuesday and has demanded a prisoner exchange.

In retaliation, Hezbollah fired rockets into Israel, killing one person.

Consider an ordinary ice cube sitting in a pressure cooker in our kitchen. We all know what happens if we turn on the stove. But what happens to an ice cube if we heat it up to trillions upon trillions of degrees?

If we heat the ice cube on the stove, first it melts and turns into water; that is, it undergoes a phase transition. Now let us heat the water until it boils. It then undergoes another phase transition and turns into steam. Now, continue to heat the steam to enormous temperatures. Eventually, the water molecules breakup. The energy of the molecules exceeds the binding energy of the molecules, which are ripped apart into elemental hydrogen and oxygen gas.

Now we continue to heat it past 3,000 °K, until the atoms of hydrogen and oxygen are ripped apart. The electrons are pulled from the nucleus, and now we have a plasma (an ionized gas), often called the fourth state of the matter (after gasses, liquids and solids). Although a plasma is not part of common experience, we can see it every time we look at the sun. In fact, plasma is the most common state of matter in the universe.

Now continue to heat the plasma on stove to 1 billion° K, until the nuclei of hydrogen and oxygen are ripped apart, and we have a "gas" of individual neutrons and protons, similar to interior of a neutron star.

If we heat the "gas" of nucleons even further to 10 trillion° K, these subatomic particles will turn into disassociated quarks. We will now have a gas of quarks and leptons (the electrons and neutrinos).

If we heat this gas to 1 quadrillion° K, the electromagnetic force and the weak force will become united. The symmetry SU(2) ×U(1) will emerge at this temperature. At 10 raised to power 28 ° K, the electroweak and strong forces become united, and the GUT symmetry [SU(5), O(10), or E(6)] appear.

Finally, at a fabulous 10 raised to power 32° K, gravity united with the GUT force, and all the symmetries of ten-dimensional superstring appear. We now have a gas of superstrings. At that point, so much energy will have gone in the pressure cooker that the geometry of the space-time may change. The space around our kitchen may very well become unstable; a rip may form in the fabric of space, and a wormhole may appear in the kitchen. At this point, it may be advisable to leave the kitchen.

Autistic savant Daniel Tammet's brilliance with numbers is well known. But, he tells Cassandra Jardine, he's now managing to solve other conundrums

Daniel Tammet locks his eyes on to mine just a shade too long as he opens the door to his home in Herne Bay in Kent. His manner is a trifle stiff.

"Would you like a drink?" he asks, in a voice that lacks expression. But he goes through the social motions with competence, if not ease.

This comes as a relief, for Tammet, now 26, is an autistic savant with prodigious abilities similar to those that Dustin Hoffman portrayed in the film Rain Man. There are only about 50 savants in the world (all men), but Tammet is unique in being able to describe how his mind works.

"I'm lucky," he says, "because most others who have rare abilities are also seriously disabled."

Two years ago, Tammet became famous for reciting pi to 22,514 decimal places with the same ease that the rest of us can reel off 3.142. Even more remarkably, he says he could still do it: his memory is not only extraordinarily capacious, it also retains everything.

In a documentary last year, he again demonstrated his numerical powers, this time by breaking the bank in Las Vegas, never having played blackjack before. And now he has done something that, for a man who describes words as "his second language", is even more remarkable: he has written a book.

With his monkish mien backed by a sense of brooding menace, Zinédine Zidane has always been something of an enigma, so it is perhaps fitting that the final act of his career should be the source of such mystery.

Just why did a man blessed with complete control of a football lose his head in such a violent manner at such a crucial moment, boring it into the chest of Marco Materazzi?

As L’Equipe summed up the moment of madness with a headline of “Regrets Éternels”, a day of endless questioning began. With many conflicting versions of events circling on the internet and in the world’s media, The Times enlisted the help of an expert lip reader, Jessica Rees, to determine the precise nature of the dialogue that caused Zidane to react in such a manner.

After an exhaustive study of the match video, and with the help of an Italian translator, Rees claimed that Materazzi called Zidane “the son of a terrorist whore” before adding “so just f*** off” for good measure, supporting the natural assumption that the Frenchman must have been grievously insulted.

As the son of two Algerian immigrants, the 34-year-old is proud of his North African roots, dedicating France’s 1998 World Cup win to “all Algerians who are proud of their flag and all those who have made sacrifices for their family but who have never abandoned their own culture”, so such a slur would certainly explain, if not justify, his violent response.

Microsoft has been fined 280.5m euros ($357m; £194m) by the European Commission for failing to comply with an anti-competition ruling.

The software giant was hit by the fine following a long-running dispute between the US firm and EU regulators.

The move follows a landmark EU ruling in 2004, which ordered Microsoft to provide rivals with information about its Windows operating system.

The industry bodies of cell phone service providers and makers have informed the industry ministry of plans to unify specifications of cell phone sockets and battery charger plugs around 2010, when the use of fourth-generation phones will likely become full-fledged, ministry officials said Tuesday.

The standardization would enable cell phone users to continue to use the same chargers even after replacing phones with ones marketed by different service providers, they said. At present, the specifications used for cell phones' sockets by NTT DoCoMo Inc, KDDI Corp and Vodafone KK differ and their chargers are incompatible.

For the 13th year in a row, Computerworld conducted a survey to identify the 100 Best Places to Work for IT professionals.

An Iraqi female allegedly raped and murdered by a US soldier in March was aged 14.

It had previously been suggested in court documents that she was 25, while the US military documented her as 20. Local officials and relatives had said she was 15 or 16.

But her identity card and a copy of her death certificate, obtained by Reuters, show she was 14.

Abeer Qasim Hamza al-Janabi was born on August 19, 1991, in Baghdad, according to the identity card provided by a relative. Issued in 1993, it features a photograph of her at 18 months, wide-eyed and with a lick of dark hair over her brow.

Her death certificate, dated March 13 and signed by doctor Wael Habib and a registrar, says she was found dead at home by a relative on March 12. She had died from "gunshot wounds to the head, with burns".

No independent verification of the documents was immediately available.

Former private Steven Green was charged as a civilian in a US court with rape and four murders.

1. The average person walks approximately 130,000 kilometres in their lifetime, which is more than 3 times around the world.

2. It's rare that both feet are exactly the same size, one is often larger than the other.

3. In a pair of feet there are 250,000 sweat glands that produce approximately 500ml of sweat each day.

4. When walking, each time your heel lifts off the ground, it forces the toes to carry one half of your body weight!

5. 58% of women regularly paint their nails.

6. One type of humming bird is the size of an average nail.

7. A quarter of all the body's bones are in the feet (52 bones in a pair of feet).

8. Your nails on either hand grow at different rates according to whether you are right or left handed.

9. The growth rate is faster on the hand that you use the most, i.e. if you are left handed, your left hand nails will grow more quickly than your right hand nails.

10. Fingernails grow nearly four times faster than toenails.

11. Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

12. By the time you are 12 years old, your feet are 90% of their adult size.

Zinedine Zidane was provoked into butting Marco Materazzi during the World Cup 2006 final by a "very serious" comment, according to his agent.

Zidane appeared to react to something that was said and was dismissed for his violent charge into his opponent. "He told me Materazzi said something very serious to him but he wouldn't tell me what," agent Alain Migliaccio told BBC Five Live Sport.

Migliaccio, who spoke to Zidane at 2am on Monday, added that Zidane did not elaborate on what Materazzi said. "I don't know. Zinedine didn't want to talk about it but it will all come out in the next week," he said. "He is a man who normally lets things wash over him but on Sunday night something exploded inside him. He was very disappointed and sad. He didn't want it to end this way."

Neither Materazzi nor Zidane have spoken publicly since the final in Germany. According to French newspaper L'Equipe, Materazzi goaded the Algerian-French Zidane by calling him "a terrorist".

Other reports have claimed that the former Everton defender told the France captain that he should "play for your own country".




But still this guy wins the Golden Ball. A truly well deserved accolade, I personally feel that he was single handedly responsible for the revival of the French team in this World Cup.

Afghanistan has played host to its first fashion show in decades, with models displaying designer garments at a hotel in the capital, Kabul.

The show, which made the news on Afghanistan's Tolo TV channel, attracted an audience of expatriates and well-to-do Afghans.

Clothes made from Afghan textiles, including fashion burqas, were shown off by non-Afghan models to the accompaniment of traditional local music.

A Pakistan International Airlines plane crashed shortly after takeoff Monday in the eastern city of Multan, leaving all 45 persons aboard dead, officials said.

The Fokker airliner crashed into mango groves near Multan, the largest city in southern part of Punjab province, minutes after take off, initial reports in Pakistani media said.

Pakistani officials said it was too early to ascertain the cause of the crash but discounted the possibility of sabotage.

Witnesses reported the plane plummeting down with a fire on its left side.

"The plane lost contact with the control tower about two minutes after take-off. We don't know what happened to it," Mansoor Rahi, an engineer with the airline, told The Associated Press.

The plan was traveling to Lahore, the capital of Punjab province, and had 41 passengers and 4 crew members on board. The dead included two high court judges, two brigadier-generals of the Pakistan Army and a university vice chancellor.


Full news item here.

by Jeremy Clarkson

Last week I wrote about my recent trip to America, and to be honest it didn’t go down well. I don’t think I’ve ever been on the receiving end of such a blizzard of bile. One man called me an “imbosile”. Hundreds more suggested that it’d be better for everyone if I just stayed at home in future.

And do you know the awful thing? I haven’t finished yet. Last week’s column was just an introduction, an amuse-bouche, a scene-setter. It’s this week that things really start to get going . . .

So far we’ve looked at the problem in America of power without responsibility. Step out of the loop, do something unusual and you’ll encounter a wall of low-paid, low-intellect workers whose sole job is to prevent their bosses from being sued. As a result, you never hear anyone say: “Oh I’m sure it’ll be all right.”

You know the Stig. The all-white racing driver we use on Top Gear. Well, we were filming him walking through the Mojave desert when lo and behold a lorry full of soldiers rocked up and arrested him. He was unusual. He wasn’t fat. He must therefore be a Muslim.

It gets worse. I needed money to play a little blackjack in Vegas but because I was unable to provide the cashier with an American zip code he was unable to help. It’s the same story at the petrol pumps. Americans can punch their address into the key pad and replenish their tank. Europeans have to prove they’re not terrorists before being allowed to start pumping.

I seem to recall a television advertisement in which George W Bush himself urged us all to go over there for our holidays. But what’s the point when you can’t buy anything? Or do anything. Or walk across the desert in a white suit without being arrested.

The main problem I suspect is a complete lack of knowledge about the world. I asked people in the streets of Vegas to name two European countries. The very first woman I spoke to said: “Oh yes. What’s that one with kangaroos?”

Then you’ve got New Orleans, which, nearly a year after Katrina, is still utterly smashed and ruined. Now I’m sorry but insects can build shelter on their own. Birds can build nests without a state handout. So why are the people of Louisiana sitting around waiting for someone else to do the repairs?

I tried to help out. I tried to give a car I’d been using to a Christian mission. But I was threatened with legal action because the car in question was a 91 and not the 98 that had allegedly been promised. A very angry woman accused me of “misrepresentation”.

Not everyone in America is deranged, of course. Sammy certainly isn’t. Sammy was helping us out washing cars, and one night, over dinner, he explained how he’d become so badly burnt. And why, as a result, the best he could hope for out of life was washing cars for cash.

His car had exploded after it was rammed from behind by an off-duty cop. He was taken to a hospital that had no air-conditioning, in California, in the summer. Not nice when you have third-degree burns to half your body.

And to make matters worse, there was nobody to help him go to the loo, so he either did his business where he lay — or went through untold agony by rolling over to pee on the floor.

The bill for his botched plastic surgery was half a million dollars, $15,000 of which came from the cop’s insurance. This means Sammy can never get a proper job, or buy a house or find credit.

The government, he says, is waiting for him to pop up on the radar and then they’ll come round to get their greenbacks back.

Of course, many Americans would say our health service is far from perfect and I’d agree. I’d agree there are lots of things wrong with Britain.

I’d also agree, having been to every single state in the US — apart from Rhode Island — that there are good things about America. The hash browns, for instance, served up by Denny’s are delicious, you can turn right on a red light and er . . . well, I’m sure there’s a lot more but I can’t think of anything at the moment.

Among the things I don’t like is the way everyone over 15 stone now moves about in a wheelchair. As a result, it takes half an hour to get through even the widest door. And I really don’t like the way that every small town looks exactly the same as every other small town. Palmdale in California and Biloxi in Mississippi are nigh on identical. They have the same horrible restaurants. The same mall. The same interstate drone. Live in either for more than a week and you’d be stabbing your own eyes with knitting needles.

But it’s the idiocracy that really gets me down. The constant coaxing you have to do to get anything done. “No” is the default setting whether you want to change lanes on a motorway or get a drink on a Sunday. It’s like trying to negotiate with a donkey. Once, I urged a cop in Pensacola, Florida, to use his common sense and let me load a van in the no loading zone, since the airport was shut and it would make no difference. “Sir,” he said, “you don’t need common sense when you’ve got laws.”

That, I think, probably says it all.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?

A Pakistani walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Pakistani hands over the keys of a new BMW parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the BMW into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

Loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business,and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away,we checked your bank a/c and found that you are multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Pakistani replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, quite a lot, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, which made me feel uncomfortable. One day she called me and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. So before I got married and committed my life to her daughter, she wanted to make love to me just once.

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door...

I opened it, and stepped out of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

Moral of the story:
Always keep your condoms in your car...

Marketing comes in a number of flavors :

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You talk her into going home with your friend.
- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy her so he calls you.
- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be gorgeous girls in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
- That's Spam.

How BOY withdraws cash from ATM.

1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away...


How GIRL withdraws cash from ATM

1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for 3/4 mile
24) Release hand brake

There was a young pretty virgin girl who lived with her grandma. She was invited to go on her first date. Before the date her grandma took her aside and said to her, " The boy is going to try to kiss you; you will like that. But don't let him do it. The boy will try to feel your breast; you will like that. But don't let him do it. The boy will try to put his hands between your legs; you will like that. But don't let him do that. The boy will try to get on top of you and have his way with you. Most certainely don't let him do that. He will disgrace your dear family if you let him do that."

The girl went on her date and when she came back her grandma asked her how it went. The young girl said, "It was just like you said Grandma! But, to reassure you. When he tried that business with getting on top of me, I rolled him over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family!"

by Michael D. Hargrove:

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about -- the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.

Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, "Me, too, Dad!"

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son's face in his hands said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi, baby girl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. "I love you so much!" They stared at each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?

"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those." he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face. "Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. "Two whole days!"

Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he'd been gone for at least several weeks - if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.

I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"

The man suddenly stopped smiling.

He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope, friend... decide!" Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!"

With that, he and his family turned and strode away together. I was still watching that exceptional man and his special family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?"

Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, ....

and still be afraid of a spider.

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over the weekend?

"I went to visit my Nana."
No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

"I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words."

She then asked little Alex what he had done? "I read a book," he replied.
That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT"

LOTR Name Generator

Use this form to discover your secret hobbit, elven, dwarf or wizard name.
Enter your name, the race and gender for your new name.

Gulf War 2 (aka World War 2.5)

AOL: Ashcroft Online

Greetings Potential Terrorists

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Due to some cruel twist of fate george w. bush jr's resume came into my possession. after goin thru it i think tht i shud forward it to as many ppl as possible ust so tht u can be aware of wht kinda president he is. i wont be promisin nethin wid ur loved one if u forward this... but if u do... u'll knw it is for the better of the world

George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

LAW ENFORCEMENT:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol.
I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.
My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.
I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
I was a cheerleader.


PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.

ASCII Art in Color