mordant wit

67 percent of office phone cords are too twisted to reach across the user's cubicle.

This section lists the results of the analysis into each nation's peace. The countries are ranked from most peaceful to least peaceful, highlighting their ranking as well as their score. You can click on a country to see the detail of its peace indicators and drivers. Pakistan is at 115. The only countries worse off than us are:

• Colombia


• Nigeria


• Russia


• Israel


• Sudan


• Iraq

I don't think that paints a very rosy picture for any of us!

See complete list here.

After the chinchilla, the hamster and the bonobo, humans are the fourth most sexualized mammal.

Chick Fight video! Do you need any other persuasion?!??

Reported Ownage video!

Didn't know the cute little pigeons could be that dangerous!




If you need this warning, it's only appropriate to get your head ripped off!





Umm, well the warning speaks for itself. The "R" is for "Run your ass off!"

I'm sure the "Fat Duck" got a real surprise!!!

Squeeze me! Coming through!

With "THAT" on the other side, I don't think I need a Police Line to tell me not to cross!

I met the editorial policy/legal people at the BBC and I asked them which swear words are they allowed to use?

I was shown a ranked list of rudeness. It was every bit as entertaining as I had hoped, but to my disappointment, there was no possibility of removing this fabulous document from the room. I don’t like to paint too much of a melodramatic picture, but the offending piece of paper was physically removed from my hand (I think they had the idea that I would scan it, post it on my blog).

Anyway, I mentioned this to someone from the BBC at a party recently; and she sent me a copy this morning. As you can see, I have indeed scanned it and posted it on my blog.

Goodbye wires... MIT experimentally demonstrates wireless power transfer

A team from MIT’s Department of Physics, Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, and Institute for Soldier Nanotechnologies (ISN) has experimentally demonstrated an important step toward accomplishing this vision of the future. The team members are Andre Kurs, Aristeidis Karalis, Robert Moffatt, Prof. Peter Fisher, and Prof. John Joannopoulos (Francis Wright Davis Chair and director of ISN), led by Prof. Marin Soljacic. Realizing their recent theoretical prediction, they were able to light a 60W light bulb from a power source seven feet (more than two meters) away; there was no physical connection between the source and the appliance. The MIT team refers to its concept as “WiTricity” (as in wireless electricity). The work will be reported in the June 7 issue of Science Express, the advance online publication of the journal Science.

Interesting 404!

The Colorado Business Group, an economic think tank concluded that the optimal size for a corporation is 250 employees.

Israel Voices Satisfaction Over U.S. Aid Increase (and why wouldn't they???)

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert voiced satisfaction on Sunday over Washington's intention to offset a package of arms sales to Saudi Arabia and other Gulf states with increased military aid for Israel.

He said he and U.S. President George W. Bush, in talks at the White House last month, agreed Israel would receive $30 billion in U.S. military aid over the next decade, averaging $3 billion a year.

"This is an increase of 25 percent for the military aid to Israel from the United States. I think this is a significant and important improvement of the defense aid to Israel," Olmert told reporters.

He spoke a day after a senior U.S. defense official said Washington was working on a military assistance deal for Israel expected to top $30 billion over the next 10 years.


Click here for complete article

A very rare event!

Pakistan's newspapers speculate that Musharraf, unpopular and increasingly isolated, may be considering running some sort of political accommodation with Bhutto, leader of the still popular Pakistan People's Party (PPP). Bhutto fled to Europe amidst corruption charges in Pakistan after the collapse of her second government in the early 1990s. Presidential advisers and Bhutto aides seemed surprised when news of the secret get-together was first reported, suggesting that very few officials in either camp knew about the meeting, though a minister later confirmed it had taken place.

Musharraf has long said he would not cut deals with Bhutto or with Nawaz Sharif, another former prime minister from whom Musharraf seized power in 1999 and is now also living in exile. If Musharraf has met with Bhutto, it is a measure of how vulnerable he feels. Many Pakistanis share the sentiment. As I rose to leave after an interview Saturday with Syed Kamran Zafar, an Islamabad-based official for Bhutto's PPP, he urged me not to visit any markets in Islamabad. "Stay clear of anywhere it is crowded," he implored, sounding scared himself. "I mean it. These bastards are killing innocent people. Why don't they go after army generals?"

Original Link

For the DeLorean, it's back to the present

The iconic gull-winged sports car is once again hot, and there are plans afoot to place it back in production.

DeLorean's car would live on, thanks primarily to "Back to the Future," the top-grossing film of 1985. Ditching their original idea of using an old refrigerator as a time machine, the scriptwriters opted for a modified DeLorean because of its futuristic look, particularly the doors, according to co-writer Bob Gale.

The movie made Michael J. Fox a star — and launched the DeLorean pop cult.

And it is now going to be produced again!

Click here! And it's not terrorism!!!

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 12noon., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 12 noon.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.

So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 12noon., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........

Just when the! clock struck 12...

and then......

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my
GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.....

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."

A sardar was drawing money from ATM.

The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur pin. Its 4 asterisks(****)."

The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone didn't ring when her friends called -- and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog ..... or the senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.


2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.


3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.


4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.


5. The wet ground would then complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which goes to show that some problems can be fixed by pissing and moaning!

This is a must read for some real inspiration!

Sampler:

• Audio Science


• Camera


• Diezel Ky (I guess the label of the jeans taken off and the brand of lubrication used!)


• Fifi Trixibell


• Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily


• Moxie CrimeFighter


• Pilot Inspektor


• Sage Moonblood

Click here for all 50!

On 12th July, AAJ Tv boradcasted a program of Live with Talat in which Talat Hussain visited Jamia Hafsa. While touring the bullet ridden compound a number of military personal hovered around, at a certain point Talat Hussain asked an accompanying Army personal about all the evidence of smoke around the area asking, “Why is there so much smoke?”, the solider replied “WP”, Talat put another question “Please explain WP?”, the solider answered “White Phosphorus.”

Alaska is home to all ten of the ten least-visited national parks.

A recent study found that individuals who drink the daily-recommended amount of water suffer from one third of the medical ailments than those who don't.

Stories of America in an Age of Repression
by Matthew Rothschild

The super megason IV has hit the shelves. After XBOX, PlayStation and Nintendo, this is another gaming console! Read the review here!

Microwaves run most efficiently when they are warmed up. Running a microwave empty for three seconds before heating food will reduce overall wattage and cooking time by up to 43 percent.

Emails make up 73 percent of all traffic over the internet.

I guess 73 percent of those emails is made up by SPAM!

Bottled water costs 200 times as much as tap water per gallon.

And to imagine that the MAJORITY of the residents of the major cities of Pakistan actually rely on bottled water!

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

~ Charles de Gaulle

A picture of a crashed iPhone taken at the Apple Store!

Top Idiots

Guys! I know you're all thinking BJ's. But this is simply amazing! I never imagined someone could have control like that over their tongue!

Traditionally, belts were a symbol of poverty worn by peasants who could not afford properly fitted pants. They came into general fashion in the early 1890s.

There are more fluent French speakers in China than in France.

It's amazing how well the US security system is reacting to it's allies in the war on terror. The allies were always going to get some preferential treatment by virtue of being with America. Even being neutral wasn't an option, either you are with them or against them!

For Britons who are with them, they're religious and political beliefs along with their sexual preferences are to be passed on to US security officials when they are travelling to the US.

It just doesn't stop there. US troops left a Australian private security operator for dead when he was seriously wounded in an ambush in Iraq.


If that's what the allies are getting, I'd rather be against 'em! :P

Since 1997, Brookhaven National Laboratory has been running a high energy particle physics experiment that has a 1 in 5000 chance of creating a small black hole that would consume the lab, Long Island and the Earth in a matter of moments.

The number of emails written in English has decreased by 21 percent between the years 2000 and 2007. During this time period, the fastest growing languages for email were Farsi, Arabic, Mandarin and Urdu.

More incense is burned on U.S. college campuses than in all of India.

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.

A lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s...!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady


MORAL: Gather All resources be4 working on any project...!!!

Watch out, Harry, these wand-wielding veterans aren't afraid to hit a guy with glasses.

This was old news, but someone has actually compiled the articles and documents here that show that trillions of dollars are missing from the US government. I wonder where all that taxpayer money went?

Build your own wart remover [VID]

Amazingly beautiful picture of an empreror dragonfly shedding it's exoskeleton!

I've seen bizarre, weird and comical stuff all my life. Most I've forgotten in a day or a week perhaps. This is all three combined and I'll remember this forever! Please click and read!!!

A personal and rather unconventional comparison. Good read.

More than a decade after the Internet went mainstream, the world's richest information source hasn't necessarily made its users any more informed. A new study from the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press shows that Americans, on average, are less able to correctly answer questions about current events than they were in 1989. Citizens who call the Internet their primary news source know slightly less than fans of TV and radio news. Hmmm... maybe a little less Perez Hilton and a little more Jim Lehrer.

Today in Washington I was in the room as the greatest living American received a medal. George W. Bush, Nancy Pelosi and others were present. But will you ever hear this event occurred? To judge from tonight's major network evening newscasts, perhaps not. Cameras were allowed at the ceremony but I saw none from the major networks, though the international press was significantly represented. And will you recognize this great man's name when I say it?

...

Born 1914 in Cresco, Iowa, Borlaug has saved more lives than anyone else who has ever lived. A plant breeder, in the 1940s he moved to Mexico to study how to adopt high-yield crops to feed impoverished nations. Through the 1940s and 1950s, Borlaug developed high-yield wheat strains, then patiently taught the new science of Green Revolution agriculture to poor farmers of Mexico and nations to its south. When famine struck India and Pakistan in the mid-1960s, Borlaug and a team of Mexican assistants raced to the Subcontinent and, often working within sight of artillery flashes from the Indo-Pakistani War of 1965, sowed the first high-yield cereal crop in that region; in a decade, India's food production increased sevenfold, saving the Subcontinent from predicted Malthusian catastrophes. Borlaug moved on to working in South America. Every nation his green thumb touched has known dramatic food production increases plus falling fertility rates (as the transition from subsistence to high-tech farm production makes knowledge more important than brawn), higher girls' education rates (as girls and young women become seen as carriers of knowledge rather than water) and rising living standards for average people. Last fall, Borlaug crowned his magnificent career by persuading the Ford, Rockefeller and Bill & Melinda Gates foundations to begin a major push for high-yield farming in Africa, the one place the Green Revolution has not reached.


Complete article here

A man goes to a general store

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.


The next day, the man returns.

MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well...where is she?
MAN: She's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.


The next day the man returns.

CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm...It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper .

Ads vs. Reality

Click!

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Haallo, Mr. Bush!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Sheeda from Chuk no -3, District Gujrat, Pakistan. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Sheeda," Bush replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Sheeda, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Basheera, my next door neighbour Karam Deen, and the entire kabaddi team from the village. That makes eight"

Bush paused. "I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"BLOODY Hell" said Sheeda. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Sheeda called again.

"Mr. Bush, it is Sheeda, I'm calling from Chuk no-3 Gujrat, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Sheeda?" Bush asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amjad's tractor."

Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."

"Oh teri... (oops)....." said Sheeda. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough Sheeda rang again the next day. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified

Amjads's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four boys from Sahiwal, last years kabaddi champion have joined us as well!"

Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Tera pala hove ...." said Sheeda, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Sheeda called again the next day. "Kehse? Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Sheeda, "we've all had a long chat over a couple of days and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners!!!"

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.